Forbidden Fruit

On the way home from his spin class this morning, Troy purchased an apple for himself. It looked just like this. Big, red, juicy, beautiful. Call me Eve. I had a friend over for lunch, along with her children. Of course I invited this friend over but did not prepare well because I tried to feed them lunch from a very empty fridge. I, like any good friend, wanted to provide balanced nutrition for the children. I saw the apple sitting on the counter, and I made a decision. I fed the apple to my friend, my friend's children, and to myself. I did leave a quarter of the apple for Troy....

Later in the day in my inbox I found this message from my husband:

This is Just to Say

You have eaten

the apple

which I purchased this morning

and I was saving for lunch

we'll see about forgiving you

I hope it was delicious

so sweet

and so cold

Spring in Utah

Any of you out-of-state friends missing Utah? Here's a little reminder of what it's like to try to get a little spring around here. Okay, okay, it's perfect....no wait, it's really a little too hot...no wait we're going to have a storm (we had snow four days ago)....okay, it's almost perfect...no wait......

When the Cat's Away....

....the mice are at play. At our house that translates to "When Daddy's away, the family eats like crap! And it's fun!" Troy has been in Portland for most of this week, and since Stomper and I were recovering from our...issues...we didn't put much energy into eating well rounded meals. On Wednesday Stomper was having a kind of rough day, not playing well with his friend in the morning, not wanting to go to school, stuff like that. So as I was driving him to school I was trying to have some close time with him, talking about how he was doing, how he wanted to spend the afternoon, etc. I asked him if there was something special he wanted for dinner. He said, "I just want some fried bread." Mmmmm. Fried Bread. So after school we whipped up a batch of pizza dough then headed to the playground with friends. When we returned, the dough was soft and billowy and ready for frying. Now, in Utah, you people call this little golden pillows of fried dough "scones." My husband and I can't seem to get past our disagreement - I grew up in Colorado where we called them by their correct name, sopapillas. Scones are baked, not fried, and they're crumbly and delicious and to be eaten with a cup of tea. He won't let go of this. And neither will I. Anyway. We fried up the dough and that's what we had for dinner.

Then yesterday. Do you ever have a sort of Three-Stooges day with your kids? One kid whacks the other, you holler, the other kid grabs the first one, you clonk their heads together, everyone shouts...you know what I'm talking about? Our whole afternoon was like that. All three of us were DONE with each other. We're ready for daddy to come home. We did have plans to get out of the house, but due to various fits of temper, sobbing and violence, all plans got canceled. Finally I realized that my children might be in need of nutrition, and the thought of making food, well, I just didn't want to do it. Nor did I want to drive anywhere. Chinese it is! For the record, Sampan makes some pretty good Chinese food. And it ended up being a fun meal. I rigged up some chopsticks for the kids - you put a spacer (like a wad of plastic wrap) between the two sticks at one end, and wrap it up with a rubber band so it's like a spring. The kids actually managed pretty well. Most importantly it took a really long time for them to eat their dinner. By the time that was over it was practically bedtime!

A Solitary Observation

When I was in high school I heard a poem that I instantly loved and memorized and have remembered ever since. It goes like this:

Solitary Observation Brought Back from a Sojourn in Hell

At midnight tears
Run in your ears

by Louise Bogan (that part I didn't memorize, I just googled the title - I love technology)

So this week, slightly from hell itself, Stomper made a solitary observation of his own:

Barf is yellow.
Throw-up is brown.

I guess he needed to make a distinction. Helpful, though gross, and now all you need to know is that we're all recovering. Only Stomper and I were really afflicted, but when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, right?

I'll try to not let my next post be about any type of bodily function.

Jeopardy, Preslar Style

Answer:
"I want to go poo in the big orange box!"

Question:
What is "The most embarrassing thing you can think of for your child to be screaming at the top of her lungs as you drag her away from the park and its big orange port-a-potty on a crowded spring afternoon?"

Lesson Learned

I'm so sad. I thought I understood how to take pictures with my phone. I realize that this is not the ideal format for creating great pictures, but in a pinch I have been snapping a few shots with the phone. On a couple different occasions I thought I had been taking a series of pictures, when in reality I had been taking a picture, deleting it, and then taking another. Once last week, while Troy was out of town, I took the kids on a little date to an ice cream parlor. I had it in my head that we'd all share a great big banana split or something like that. However, when the kids saw the double cones, they had their hearts set on them. I took, or I thought I took, a bunch of pictures, but the only one I ended up with was this one:


Definitely not a bad one to end up with, certainly, but I'm missing the one great Stomper shot.

And then this week the whole neighborhood had no school on Monday. Some of us headed up to a park in the avenues to play, and though we all got there at different times, eventually there was a pretty good group there. I think this park is one of the only places left in the valley that has a real old-fashioned metal merry-go-round. The kids just loved it, but I did see a few good tuck-n-rolls as kids tried to get off while it was still in motion. It was pretty funny, only because no one really got hurt. I can see why those things are a dying breed. It reminded me of trying to jump off a moving train. Anyway, Bitty and her little friend J. spent the whole time on it, and when they were joined by about six boys, they made a pretty picture because every kid was wearing a different colored t-shirt. They looked so great, all the colors and smiling faces spinning in the sun, so again I snapped a bunch of pictures, erasing each one in turn. Here's the one I ended up with:


I'm glad I have the one, because it was a fun afternoon, but I'm so sad the green shirt is missing! Oh well, another lesson learned!

Eyeball Wishes

As we were preparing for the daily mud bath I was slathering Bitty with sunscreen, and I got a little sad because I suddenly remembered that the last time I was doing this she was requesting "scumskeen" and now she wants just regular old sun screen. This does not mean, however, that she has abandoned all cute baby talk and funny ideas, because also today she hopped out from behind something and shouted "yoda lady whoooo!" I thought that was rather endearing. Also, we had Troy's parents over for dinner. As Bitty she sat on her grandmother's knee and looked into her eyes she said, "Hey, you've got wishes in your eyes!" I was able to explain, first of all that she didn't think Grandma had a witch in her eye, just a wish. The last time she said this it took some figuring out, but it turns out that when she sees the little spark of reflected light in someone's eye, she thinks it looks like the flame on the top of a birthday candle, thus making it a "wish." I'll tell you, the first time she said that a few weeks ago it took some serious figuring to understand what she meant. I just love that - we all have twinkling wishes in our eyes.

Spring has Sprung

I loved today. Loved it. I don't think the weather could have been any better. Plus, it was Sunday, yet Troy didn't have any meetings after church, so we just had a nice afternoon together. Of course church did involve a three-stooges-esque wrestling match for pretty much the duration of sacrament meeting, but we all survived. The weather has blossomed into loveliness, just warm enough to hang out outside in shorts, go for a walk with El Poocho, and most importantly, get a good head start on our annual mud bog in the backyard. I was so happy to enjoy a day like this after yesterday.

Yesterday was not a bad day by any means, it was just one of those crazy busy days. It started with a double (two family) play date in the morning, and moved on through dropping kids off at my sister's, shopping for a shower gift, going to a wedding shower, finding out that I was in charge of refreshments for a baptism 1 1/2 hours before it began, picking kids up, getting ready for the baptism, getting to the baptism to find that there were about three times as many people as we were expecting and so shopping during the baptism, frantically preparing the food during the end of the service (thank you helper friends!) and then having friends over for an impromptu dinner after that. Yeah, I'm tired just reading over that. Although I suppose I could be tired because of this really fun game our family played last night called musical beds. I'm sure you parents out there are familiar with it and I won't bore you with the details.

By the way, though I missed the actual baptism, the guy who got baptized is really cool and I'm happy for him. And the food I made was really great.

I must mention one of the many reasons I love my husband. It's so fun to watch him adore his children. He dug a pretty big pit in our dirt patch for Stomper to play in, and filled it up with water. As Troy watched his son have an absolute ball splashing and jumping and digging in there, he mentioned to me how much he wants to make, out of plaster or wood or something, some big dinosaur-ish bones to hide in there. Can you imagine my little dinosaur boy digging in there, pretending as usual to be a paleontologist, and actually finding bones? I think he would have a heart attack of joy. I just love that Troy thinks about what would make his kids ecstatically happy and finds joy in their joy. That's a good daddy for you.

Observations

Random observation #1:
In my gmail account I have a special place where all the spam lands. It tells me that the spam folder will empty itself after 30 days, and normally I can't stand to wait this long before I empty it myself. I am now conducting an experiment to find out how much spam will accumulate before it finally does empty itself. So far we're up to 3070. Thank heavens it's in a separate folder, and I'm wondering what I did to get on The List.

Random observation #2:
When my daughter cries, she can actually produce tears with enough velocity that they launch themselves from her face. She looks like a cartoon of a kid crying, water flying everywhere. It's pretty amazing to see these little droplets actually springing off her cheeks. She's a very talented young lady.

The Weekly Update

I must begin by thanking my many supporters for all the comments from my "feeling like an idiot" post. I don't think I've ever gotten so many comments from a post before. Just so you know, I did respond to the author's comment by saying that I certainly hoped that her book sales were helping her pay off her whopping debt. Unfortunately, I got my copy from the library, so I wasn't very helpful in that regard. I have no idea if she read my reply or not. Anyway, you all made me feel much better!

Where to begin? So many great moments this week. Bitty has been informing me that she is now too big for diapers. This is a devastating comment to hear, I being one who despises potty training. The thing is, she hates diapers, she loves panties, she hates sitting on the potty, and she is heartbroken when her undies get wet. I find this to be quite the combination. On Thursday we tried using a timer, set for every 20 minutes or so. That worked really well. She would happily go sit on the potty every time it went off. However, she never actually went potty while sitting on the potty. (I assume you know that by "go potty" I mean "urinate" - I'm not quite a grown-up yet, GHD3!) She must have sat on that thing at least 15 times. Not once did anything happen. She did, however, manage to wet her pants twice. She also pooped, but had the grace to remove her beloved Dora panties before doing so. Behind the couch. Serenity Now!!! She just has no concept of recognizing the need to go potty. Oh well, we'll get there.

Troy made me a very happy lady this week. He built a beautiful coat rack to hang by our front door. I've been wanting one for a long time, and looked and looked and never found anything that I really liked. I hated to put another job on Troy's to-do list, but he reminded me that there is a reason that we paid for all the tools he owns, and he did a great job. I love it. I love it so much I kind of hate to hang anything on it because it covers it up. Troy told me that he enjoys telling people how easy it is to make me happy. All he has to do is deny me some basic thing for a really really long time and then when he suddenly presents it to me I'm the happiest person on the planet. I just love that he has the talent to make beautiful things like that.

I also had to record our funny dog moments this week. Alex just gets nervous sometimes when kids are running around. I would even say he gets a little clingy. Here are pictures of him insisting on close physical contact with his favorite person on the planet:




He's such a psycho puppy, but I love him anyway.






I will end with a story about a trip to the park. First of all, hooray that we finally made it to the park! It was a bit chilly, but nice to soak in a little vitamin D. I was watching my kids and how opposite they are from each other, as demonstrated by their swing usage. Stomper, 5 1/2 year old boy, still insists on swinging in the little baby swings with a back and a chain sort of buckling him in. He loves for me to do all the pushing and pretty much blocks out all instruction on how to pump himself. Then there's Bitty, half her brother's age, who refused to sit in the little swings and refused to let me touch her at all. She just sat there on the big swing, hanging on for dear life and wiggling her bum as hard as she could trying to move. I'm laughing to myself just thinking about it. I want to solve her frustration so bad, but she just has to do it herself, which is great. Great, that is, until she's absolutely screaming in fury yet still won't let me help. She's a tough cookie, I tell you!

Very last of all, a great picture of her during a recent playdate:

Tags

Okay, I'm actually kind of getting into these tags - they're a kind of fun way to find things out about friends. If you don't find them fun or interesting, then please, stop reading. I got an ABC tag from my friend Gina. Here goes.

A-Attached or Single:
I'm singularly attached. I love my Troy.
B-Best Friend:
See above answer. I'm also endlessly grateful for my piles and piles of friends.
C-Cake or Pie:
How am I supposed to answer that one? I'd eat both with a fork in each hand if I could. And I love making both, though I've had more success in the cake department.
D-Day of Choice:
Don't really have a favorite. I love Tuesday and Wednesday because that's when my favorite step class is, I love Saturdays because "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" is on NPR...
E-Essential Items:
Hand lotion, chap stick, a scrunchie. I also greatly appreciate having baby wipes on hand, though I try to not go through them wastefully.
F-Favorite Color:
So many good ones! Apple green, lately.
G-Gummy Bears or Worms:
Bears, I guess, but I'd prefer the little cola bottles.
H-Hometown:
Born in Boulder Colorado, but at this point SLC is really home.
I-Indulgences:
Good food, I love a nice pedicure but don't do it much.
J-January or July:
Gosh. I'd rather have the two inbetweens of April and October.
K- Kids:
Three babes, one of whom is waiting for us to catch up to him.
L- Life would be incomplete without:
My family and friends
M- Marriage Date:
December 30, 1997 (yup, that makes us working on year #11!)
N-Number of Siblings:
1 big sis and 2 little bros.
O-Oranges or Apples:
Apples I guess. I love oranges but I'm so picky - they have to be just right or I can't eat them.
P-Phobia or Fears:
Hmmm. I guess really deep water kind of freaks me out. Heights, although I'm thrilled by them too. I don't like forgetting things, isn't that weird? Alzheimer's totally freaks me out.
Q-Quotes:
You must sacrifice perfection in order to teach responsibility
R-Reason to smile:
Life in general, I think. The coming of Spring. Watching my kids playing nicely. Hearing a song I really love. Shall I go on?
S-Season:
When spring finally gets here I'm just filled with happiness. I love watching my plants come up, I love going outside and breathing in all the smells, going for walks. Mmmm. Love it.
T-Tag Six:
How about Michelle, Melissa, Monica, Carrie, Kathleen P. and Adair. No pressure, of course.
U-Unknown Fact About Me:
I have hair on my big toes.
V-Vegetarian or Oppressor of Animal:
Isn't there a separate category? Like "Less Meat Eating?" Because that's where I am.
Y- Your Favorite Food:
I'd have to say that Indian food is pretty much manna from heaven for me, though I love most Asian like Korean, Thai, stuff like that.
Z-Zodiac Sign:
Gemini. Apparently this means that I'm a back-stabbing two-timer.