Bushed

It's official. I'm exhausted. Have you ever noticed that sometimes the stars allign in just the right way, pointing to one day on which all events will happen? Perhaps you are all just better planners than I am, but some days just seem to be heaped. This particular day only had two major events, but being bookended by two birthday parties is perhaps adding to the feeling. You may remember that I taught RAP a lot of sign language as a babe, and we used the video series "Signing Time" to help out. The "signing time lady, " a.k.a. Rachel Coleman, is much loved at our house, and I found out that she would be performing today at Hogle Zoo. I faithfully put it in our calendar several weeks ago and we've been looking forward to it ever since. In the meantime, my good friend Emily, mother of three beautiful boys, wanted to celebrate the end of summer with some big outing days and invited us along. I love being invited along! This afternoon was the only day and time that worked for us to spend some hours together at Discovery Gateway, the children's museum in the Gateway shopping center. So the day went like this:

1. Hurry and wake up the kids, get dressed, shove food in their faces and drive to the zoo, just in time to wait in line for 40 minutes to see the Signing Time show. (Pictured is the line stretching behind us another 200 or so people. Wow!)
2. Enjoy the show but leave early to get CTP to school on time, stopping along the way for fast food to get something in his tummy. I did, just so you know, bring an apple and a granola bar, both of which were rejected. (I must attempt to appear like a responsible mother.)
3. Drop CTP off at school (only 7 minutes late - pretty good!) and then do errands quickly before RAP fell asleep.
4. Come home, get stuff done as fast as I could for two hours before waking up RAP to go get CTP.
5. Hurry home, stuff more food in my kids' faces, and head off to the museum, where we then spent almost four hours playing and having a total ball.
6. Come home and crash. Of course, RAP had a nap, so she was up until midnight.

Sometimes, after slapping myself, I wonder why I do it. We did manage to carry out the day without too many incidents, but it's really asking so much of my kids to survive (and behave well) on a day like this. When I think about it, though, I wouldn't have skipped any of it. The Signing Time show was really fun - R and C were so thrilled to see Rachel and the kids from the show. And we haven't had so much fun at the children's museum for months. So is it worth it? I think probably, in the long run, the kids will remember the things we got out to see and do, and hopefully won't remember feeling super rushed or exhausted by it. Even showing RAP the pictures this evening from the day's events she was all excited again. So, though I feel pretty wiped out, and I hope to keep our schedule a little more evenly spread, I think it was worth it.

Here's CTP, who found a long-lost friend from his preschool class, last year. I loved watching them running around holding hands.

Birthday, Take I

Tomorrow is RAP's 2nd birthday. She is joined in birthday bliss by many beloved friends - CTP's friend Brandon, L of Seattle, twin daughters of a friend of mine, among others. It's a very popular day to be born, apparently. And the lucky girl gets two parties this year - one thrown by each pair of grandparents. Last night was the Preslar side - and it really was a very fun evening. We were joined at Grandma and Grandpa's by Troy's next older brother Sam, his wife Kathleen and their two boys. RAP took one look at Uncle Sam and pronounced him "very scary." It took Sam most of the evening to win her affections, but by the end he managed it. Sam is so cute with kids - CTP romped with him all night long. Here they are enjoying cloud formations together:

We enjoyed dinner, presents and of course cake and ice cream:



And I didn't mention the pony rides!



I think it was a good warm-up for the next round.

A Sunday to Love

You're not going to believe this, but I'm not being sarcastic. I really had a great Sunday yesterday. I guess I just really enjoyed my kids being themselves. Here is what I loved yesterday:

1. CTP having his turn to say the prayer in primary. I tried to prepare him for it, and Troy and I even attended opening exercises to be there for him. I just loved the little blond crown of his head as he buried his face in his arms on the child-sized pulpit. He did not muster the gumption to actually say the prayer, but he decided he would be okay to give a talk next week. We'll see how that goes.

2. Watching as we took our seats on a lengthy pew for sacrament meeting. I just can't believe that we are able to so thoroughly spread the usual clutter of snacks, crumbs, water bottles, wrappers, books, clothing, toys, and shoes across the entire bench within the first 5 minutes. Luckily we have that handy closing song, otherwise known as "the cleanup song." It doesn't sound very humorous, but once in a while you just have to appreciate what your kids are really capable of in terms of mess.

3. Little RAP getting ready to partake of the sacrament and happily crowing, "I love the snackament!"

4. RAP singing hymns. She held the book carefully open to a page and sang, "Old MacDonald." I wasn't aware that that was in the hymnbook, but according to my daughter it's very uplifting.

Sundays are not an easy day with small children. Yesterday, however, I think I was given the gift of appreciating their little souls. I need that from time to time, you know?

Getting Behind

We've had a busy week. I have to say, I'm so tired at the moment that I'm not sure I'll be very coherent as I write. If I don't get a few things posted, however, the giant week ahead will sweep by and then I'll be swamped.

I. Lizard Sitting:

This is a leopard gecko by the name of Lizzie. Lizzie belongs to the children of my friend Terri Lyn, and we have had the pleasure of her company for an entire week now as TL and her family have been visiting her home town of Seattle. (She might have cruised your house, Durham-friends...) Lizzie is well-mannered, easily held, and most importantly, non-stinky. I don't enjoy grabbing the meal worms she dines upon, but it could be worse. CTP wants a lizard for his upcoming 5th birthday and his excitement over Lizzie's visit was of such a magnitude initially that I was pretty sure I couldn't manage a full-time reptile. He talked of little else and wondered aloud such ponderings as, "What is Lizzie doing now? What about now? What position is she in now? How does she sleep? Can I feed her my sandwich? Does she like me?" in such a barrage that I got very near to going crazy. He's settled down now, and I'm frankly a little fond of Lizzie. Perhaps there is a leopard gecko in our future. We shall see.

II. A Last Burst of Summer:

We seem to have had a last burst of high summer heat this week. I'm hoping that it is the last - the forecast shows low 90's for the next week, and my hunch is that we've seen the last of the upper 90's and 100's. We gave our pool one last hurrah. My nieces were here for a bit, and the youngest, MG, celebrated by doing CTP's hair. It looks wet in this picture, but the shine was the result of the extra coats of hair gel. CTP was very proud of his new coif and demonstrated its pointy-ness to anyone who would listen.

III. Messy = Happy:

I don't think this photo does justice to the amount of ice cream plastering my kids. I had to take a scrub brush to the car seats, where the ice cream was consumed. Perhaps giving my kids ice cream in the car on a 100 degree day was not the best idea, but when you pass a Nielsen's Frozen Custard you just gotta stop.

IV. Dino Display:

Troy indulged in some time on Saturday morning to do something he's wanted to for a long time: find out exactly how too-far we've gone in the dinosaur department. Actually, it doesn't look as bad as I thought it would. This is a display of nearly every dinosaur Chase owns. It looks more impressive when they're all crammed into one gigantic plastic storage bin, but I think you get an idea of the magnitude.

My Favorite RAPisms

Let's play a little matching game. Here are some of RAP's vocabulary words, and below them are the translations. Can you match them up?

Painpake
Scumskeen
Hadeyoo
Packpack
Boppin (my personal favorite: "My boppin hurts!")
Let's do ginAgain!

Bottom
Backpack
Pancake
Let's do that again!
Please hold me
Sunscreen

And my favorite quote of the day, "I'm not beautiful, I'm cute!"

Noted.

Sheepish

Well, I have to own up to it. I went out and bought the third book in the Twilight series today...you know, those young-love, vampire/werewolf teen adventure romances. I couldn't help myself. My friend Misty recommended the first two books to me a few months ago, and when I got them I became a non-existent mom for three solid days while I inhaled them. I've been waiting ever since for the third in the series of four to be released, which it was just today. I dropped the kids off at their various appointments (school and playtime with auntie Margaret) and headed for Barnes & Noble, where the book was completely sold out. By 11 a.m. Oh good. I'm not the only pathetic person in the city. What's really funny is that although I thoroughly enjoyed reading these books I pretended that I would never be so crass as to spend my time on something so purely...whatever. As it turns out every woman in the free world is secretly devouring these books. I can't tell you how many conversations I've had about Twilight in the past three months. It's an epidemic. To quote the Simpsons, (Homer referring to all the adults reading children's fantasy novels,) "Poor broken lonely grownups!" I had to laugh as I watched women leaving the bookstore with two and three copies of the books in their arms, dragging crying toddlers behind them, a gleam of anticipation and hunger on their faces. There will be many neglected children today. Luckily there was still a pile of them at the King's English, where I was somewhat horrified as the woman ringing me up exclaimed, "Oh! Don't forget your free tattoos!" Yes, the book comes with a sheet of curli-que tattoos boasting slogans like "I love Edward" on them. (If you don't know who Edward is, you're either a male or ...I don't know, live on another planet or something.) (Or maybe you just have a life.) I replied, "I feel a little silly taking these." The seller assured me that nearly every book she had sold that day was to a woman in at least her 30's. Great. Somehow Stephenie Meyer, author of the Twilight series (and BYU graduate) has hit a nerve and we've all been sucked (no pun intended) into her story. I think that she pretty much put on paper her deepest fantasy, and we're all enjoying the ride. See you in a few days. If you're one of the three people I know who haven't read these books, well, get on it!

Another Tuba!

On Saturday night, Troy and I were sitting comfortably on the couch while RAP played on the floor. CTP was at the back of the house playing on the computer - a "Little Einsteins" game in which his goal was to collect musical instruments or something. We heard him running towards us at a full sprint and just as he came into view through the doorway, he uttered an, "ugh!" as he tripped, flying though the air to land on his stomach, sliding forward several inches from the momentum of the launch. It was rather dramatic. We held our breaths, waiting for the crying to start, but he paused, looked up and, with delight on his face, said, "Another Tuba!" We calmly praised him for his computer-game success. As soon as he pattered back to the computer we both burst out laughing. At least we allowed him his dignity, right?

Today is only 90 degrees instead of 100 - I can't describe how pleasant it is out there. The kids are out in the mud patch once again, and I'm so proud of RAP. She's actually getting in and getting quite dirty. At the moment she's actually standing, in her diaper, in a big bucket of water. Earlier in the summer she wouldn't let herself get dirty. This is a very big step! Of course, this morning she cried for quite a while over her clothing and changed her dress three times. Troy will wonder where on earth she picked up this behavior. Come visit me on a Sunday morning and you'll find out.

Summer Happenings

What a pace! The summer is flying by. I'm so proud of myself for enjoying the summer and filling our days with outings and plans. As a result, time is in warp speed and suddenly CTP starts school next week. I'm in shock. I didn't realize that the school where his Pre-K class is is a year-round school. Frankly, I'm not ready for summer to come to a close just yet. I know we have plenty of heat left, just not the empty care-free days. I know this will probably be a good thing that I'll get used to, but for the moment I'm very sad to be losing my buddy for three hours a day, four days a week.

Anyway, time is rushing so fast that I haven't gotten a chance to keep up with the many events of July...

Event I: Grandpa's 70th Birthday
Grandpa Morris (Troy's dad) had quite the shin-dig in his back yard for his 70th. We brought our inflatable pool, and the grandkids had a ball (see photo of leaping nephew Curtis). There were six kids leaping in and out of that thing for two hours. After dinner I looked in a the water and decided that a swamp had sprung up - I've never seen such filthy water. In my mind filth is a sign of good times. Morris and Carol's neighbors, the Canfields, who I might have to adopt, hauled over a grill and made some seriously great steaks. Morris got an RC airplane from his wife - good job, Carol!

Event II: Pioneer Day

Again, Becky saved the day by providing the holiday activity for us. We enjoyed the afternoon at her house eating good food and watching the annual Butlerville Days Parade - it's a pretty good one. Although, I have to wonder why the police cars and fire engines feel it's a good idea to honk their super loud horns while the street is packed with young children. I also enjoyed being pelted with salt-water taffy - some of those kids on the floats had pretty good arms and pretty good aim. Ouch. I had to laugh as I watched myself push my kids to pick up as much candy as possible out of the gutters where it had landed. Isn't this usually something I would discourage? But there we all were, urging our kids to scoop it up. And eat it.

Event III: Harry Potter

Who am I kidding? It should be event #1, don't you think? I gobbled this book up in two days fearing that someone would read it faster and then spoil the ending for me. It turned out that everyone else I knew took at least a couple more days than I did to finish and I was in agony with no one to discuss it with. I won't say more, but if you'd like to discuss, call me. Sigh. I love that Harry Potter. What I'm happy about is that CTP is starting to listen to me read chapter books. This is a joy to my heart. I have the fondest memories of my mother reading books to us at bedtime or in the car on trips, and I've been waiting my whole life to start reading to my own child. This month we've read Owls in the Family by Farley Mowat and Fantastic Mr. Fox by Rhoad Dahl. It's so fun to hear him be as excited about these stories as I was. We're probably not ready for Harry just yet....

Event IV: Zoo After Dark
Last Monday we had this HUGE day - a trip to the library in the morning, a boisterous lunch with friends at Laird Park, swimming with cousin Smith and Oma...you'd think that would be enough, right? But of course the stars were all aligned perfectly for everything to happen on the same day, and it was the night that I had registered for us to attend a "Zoo After Dark" tour. I guess I thought that it was kind of free wandering around for three hours, but it was actually a specially guided tour. And as luck would have it, only one other family signed up for that night. So there were two darling zoo keepers, Katie and Maggie, who gave us a very personal tour complete with some animal interaction. I think three hours was perhaps a bit long for us (luckily RAP had taken a nap - 20 minutes seem to be enough to keep her going until midnight - no kidding) but we really enjoyed the cool quiet zoo.

This picture is hard to see - it's the cougar looking very longingly at Chase. I think I might have seen it lick its lips, even...

Event(s) V: Hooray for Friends!

Hooray for our friend Steve, who delivered his own baby on their bathroom floor last week - and hooray for his wife Mary who had to be the laboring deliveree... Hooray for my friend Kathryn Hart, cousin and dear friend from my mission who I visited today after a couple years. I love those friends that you can see only periodically and yet you are so yourself with them, and always have been, that it makes no difference how often you see them. Our boys played so well - they just took off and heartily played. The didn't surface for hours. Success! Our girls, who are so similar in temperament it's almost scary, also did pretty well. They even said their pouty little "no!"s in exactly the same way, sometimes at exactly the same time. And hooray for the Durhams who came to see me for an hour even though their time was tight as they were visiting in SLC. Thanks friends. I could use a little more time with you - only a month or so - would that be okay?

Alarmed

RAP has just approached me in tears. "I need a beautiful dress!" she cries. I help her select a green flowered frock, with which she is overjoyed. She says, "I a princess!" She is exclaiming repeatedly, "Beautiful dress! It's beautiful! I love that!" I have often wondered if and when my little daughter was to become a girly girl. I want you to know that I have NEVER called her a princess and I'm very curious as to where she has learned this term. I know that some little girls just love wearing pretty dresses and choosing accessories and the like. I fear this a little bit, but have been prepared to accept it when the time comes. I have enjoyed hearing from my friend Misty, who has three girls, and how much she adores doing purely GIRLY stuff with them. I shall try to embrace the girly in myself.

By the way, I just found the CUTEST book on this topic - buy it immediately.

An Evening Well Spent

Oh my. Such a lot happening, such a lot of blogging to do! However, it is now approaching midnight and I can't face it tonight. I'll just say that we have enjoyed a lovely summer evening - my parents invited us over to dinner at their awesome condo. The condo sits on the brink of a grassy gully and it's just gorgeous. We hauled dinner and blankets down there, ate fabulous chicken sandwiches with roasted red pepper and caramelized onions (yeah, they were SO good) and then sprawled on blankets and a hammock on the lawn while the kids frolicked and climbed all over us. What else is a summer evening for? I'll remember this night come January. And then I'll cry.

Happy Harry Potter Eve

By now, I guess it is officially Harry Potter Day, not just the eve of. It's 12:30 a.m. and I'm sitting on my friend Becky's couch, babysitting her sleeping children while she and her hubby are fighting the crowds for the new book. Is it wrong that I'm more excited today than I am on Christmas Eve? That could be because I'm not totally exhausted from all the work and effort that I have to do for....you know, that's a comment for another entry. Or perhaps a therapist. Back to Harry.

I decided to take CTP to the big party at the downtown library this evening. I had never been a party-goer for any of the other book releases, but as this is the final installment, I found I couldn't miss it. Becky joined me for the adventure, and it really was a treat. We got there shortly after it began at 6:00, so lines for various activities were still short. We stayed about an hour and a half, just as all the kids were leaving, and the stranger crowd (or shall I say 'more devoted' or possibly 'more energetic' folks?) started showing up. Good timing.

We attended "The Care of Magical Creatures" put on by Hogle Zoo; a serious improvement from our last library animal demonstrater 'Reptile Ray,' who was actually slated to perform later in the evening: we opted to skip that one. They did a terrific job with lots of animals, and had the presenters dressed as Hagrid, Hermione and Harry. We also visited the Owl Post, Wand Making, and Diagon Alley, from which we narrowly escaped before making an expensive purchase. CTP can be quite convincing (okay, I'm just a sucker) when he's wanting a new toy. Luckily Timothy the balloon man was there and he filled CTP's new toy desire with a balloon ray gun. CTP initially requested a cloud (?) but after the look of consternation on poor Timothy's face, we convinced him that a ray gun would be plenty fun. Indeed, CTP and a boy he was passing who had also been given a ray gun had an impromptu shoot out, resulting in the other boy getting hit and splaying himself across the floor very dramatically. He had flair, I tell ya. I was pretty impressed.

Well, not to mention being totally exhausted from today's adventures, I'm starting to wonder why I'm sitting here at the computer when I could be reading. Becky's husband gave me as a thank you gift for babysitting (besides a copy of the book - thanks!) a tattoo of the number seven with Harry's face on it. Troy recommended I apply it upside-down to my forehead, letting everyone know (if they didn't already) that I am, in fact, a Loser. Proud to be one, I say!

Happy Reading!

Need Something To Do?

Do you ever have mornings when you wake up to a totally empty, unplanned day and your mood just drops...some days like that can be great, but today,...not great. Finally around lunchtime I had to pull myself out of the emotional gutter and get motivated. We piled in the car with a backpack full of sunscreen, bugspray and a camera, and headed up Big Cottonwood Canyon. This was a good idea. Our destination was Silver Lake, a small marshy lake at the very top of the canyon. I think it was at least 10 degrees cooler up there than in the valley, if not more. There was a cool breeze. Heaven. Silver Lake is perfect for kids - there's a little visitors' center with some fun activities and displays. CTP especially loved the sand box with rubber castings of animals' paws with which to make prints. Side note: I adore that CTP makes everything he does into a story or a game - he had been playing with those molds for about five seconds when suddenly each of them became a character and he was totally engrossed in a story.

Anyway, the other perfect kid aspect to the lake is that the entire thing is surrounded by a lovely boardwalk or pathway so it's not too exhausting for them to run around. There are fish and dragonflies and squirrels. We even got to see a moose out in the water. We didn't get too close, but it was fun to see. I felt so invigorated to be outside, smelling the wonderful lake smells, seeing families together, watching my kids running and exploring and getting excited about ducks and chipmunks and bugs. It's a great place to go when you need to go away. There were plenty of people there, but it certainly wasn't crowded. Perhaps the most memorable moment occurred as we were running along the boardwalk. CTP was running ahead, and I heard a splash behind me. I turn around - no RAP. Not too scary, because we were in the marshy area, not the lake area. I have to admit that I laughed when I found RAP because she had fallen right over the edge into some tall grass and was floundering in the shallow water miserably repeating, "Wet! Wet!" I sound like a horrible mother, but it was pretty funny. I grabbed her by the overall straps and hauled her out. She was only upset for, oh, 3.2 seconds and the she was off running down the boardwalk again. Here she is with her wet hair plastered to her little head, and her dignity slightly damaged:


After an hour and half at the lake we drove back down the canyon to find a good spot for playing in the river. We found the perfect place - a picnic sight with one little area where the river was slow and shallow. The kids immediately engaged in the mother of all river activities: throwing rocks. All children, and indeed, adults, love throwing rocks, and will do it for hours. And hours. I'll just say that if you ever have an extreme case of the BLAHS you need to get up to the mountains, or someplace very naturey and it helps if you can get dirty and wet too.

We Miss Peter!!!

Peter and Sheri, we wish you were here. Adam & Whitley are in town because Whit's little brother is coming home from his mission to the Philippines. Before all the returned-missionary parties start, A&W have been staying at my parents' house for a few days. We've really had a good time getting together and partying. Dinner at mom and dad's, brownies and School House Rock at Margaret's, Cafe Rio, a trip to the Thanksgiving Point Dinosaur Museum, etc. etc. It's really been fun, and we've talked a lot about missing our baby brother Peter and his wife Sheri. Above is a picture in front of the museum, and below are other pix from the visit.

Harry Potter Review

Guess What!!!! I actually went to a movie in a movie theater with my husband. This is record breaking. Thank you, dear in-laws, for watching our kiddos.

I must clarify. I am not a fan of the Harry Potter movies. I am a fan of the books, and view the movies as necessary to see, but generally only once. I have enjoyed the visual imagery in the films but almost always have been not only unsatisfied but irritated by the scripts. It's not fair, really. How could books as good and detailed and fleshed out ever fit into a two hour movie? They can't. It really isn't a reasonable expectation. I must say, however, that Order of the Phoenix, the fifth movie, has exceeded my expectations completely. I thought it was a great movie. Now, this may have something to do with the fact that the fifth book has been my least favorite so far, but really, I thought it was so well done. I loved Professor Umbridge as played by Imelda Staunton. The pacing of the movie worked so much better than the other four, I found, and the creation of the dream sequences was truly frightening. Well done! And now I have only to cram in book six before Friday night....I'm shivering with excitement over the release of book 7. I can't decide if I'm going to try to slowly enjoy it, one chapter a night or wolf it down like usual. Let's face it, I'm a wolfer. And besides, if I don't wolf it, what if someone spoils it for me? As my friend Becky said, I want virgin eyes only when I get a hold of this book. We also have to decide if we're going to need two copies of the book so Troy and I won't fight over it....best of three falls for Harry!

Our Simpsons Family

On my brother's website, he posted some pictures of Simpson's characters that look exactly like him. I was shocked that he could locate these seemingly random cartoons that so resembled him and his wife! However, I then discovered that on the Simpsons website, you can create your own characters. It's pretty hilarious. Here is my take on our family:

Not So Good

This summer has been so full of wonderful activities, and they've all met our expectations. That is, until Wednesday. We went to the downtown library for a reptile show. It was listed in the calendar as such, and we were expecting a really neat demonstration of animals. Was I wrong to be expecting that? I don't think so.... Anyway, we were thinking it was going to be pretty neat so we even invited our friend Terri Lyn and her kids. It turns out that half the valley also was expecting something cool. We got to the library a little before 2:00, and within minutes the room was totally packed with very excited kids. Talk about sensory overload. It was loud and hot and just bubbling over with energy. Well, 2:00 came and went, and the librarian came in to tell us that "Reptile Ray" hadn't arrived yet, and if he didn't get there in five minutes then we'd do a puppet show instead. Oh how I wish it had been the puppet show. "Reptile Ray" (can you hear the sneer in my voice?) wanders in at 2:15, and proceeds to try to get his power point presentation working. Are you kidding me? Here is a room packed with 50 kids and their parents and he's messing around with the computer. Finally a librarian takes over the computer and he starts joking around with the kids in a manner displaying his obvious lack of experience talking with kids, especially in a group. I'll just say it was mayhem. People started trickling out of the room, and we should have gone too. Finally Mr. Reptile shows us his slide show, still shouting over the cacophony of voices, and then announces that he didn't bring any animals with him. Boooo. We left.

Luckily, it was a lovely hot day and the fountains were running full blast outside and we let the kids get totally soaked. Then we headed to 7-11 for free slurpee day! (The date was, after all, 7/11.)

After writing this rather nasty little note, I have to say that normally I'm thrilled with the library programs. I'm so glad we live in a neat city with lots to offer, and it's been so fun to take advantage of so many activities and opportunities. I love the library. And thanks to my mom, who always took us to cool library stuff as kids so I can pass the tradition along. Here is a darling picture of my friend's son in the fountain:

A Girl With Many Talents

I don't know how my daughter does it. She has this amazing sixth sense. It happens every time I sit down at the computer. She knows. It doesn't matter what she's doing or where she is - I think she can smell it, or she can feel a shift in the air the second I take my seat. Maybe she has bionic hearing. Whatever. All I know is that the instant I sit down, I hear the pat-pat-patting of her little feet running right for me. And all she wants is to climb on the desk (which she can do without assistance and sometimes despite my resistance) and sabotage whatever I'm doing. She also really enjoys....

...oh my gosh she's coming right now...

...okay. I got her distracted. Like I was saying, she really enjoys dumping out my container of pens or the one of stamps and membership cards. I'm very impressed with her timing, not to mention her uncanny ability to make a huge mess with as few materials and as little time as possible. Amazing.

Here is a video of RAP displaying another talent of hers: flailing and thrashing. I'm amazed that she performs this without injury.

We've had a quiet week since Independence Day - our poor valley is being suffocated in smoke from various fires in surrounding areas. It doesn't smell very nice. Plus we're around 100 degrees every day, so I haven't been very vigilant in getting us out of doors. Hopefully we'll get some cooler weather and a little moisture one of these days. What is this, a desert or something?

P.S. I'm going to reveal myself as the Harry Potter nerd that I am....only one week and four days until book seven.....

Two Months

Today is the Fifth of July. I can not let the day pass without acknowledging our son, Matthew, who was born two months ago today.

How are we doing? It's a question we hear often, and just as often struggle to answer. As for myself, I think about Matthew often every day. I find that some moments I feel as if the entire experience wasn't real and it's all very distant. Other moments I remember that I should still be pregnant, due in six weeks; should be feeling hot and wretched and excited and full of a kicking baby boy. Then reality comes and I am filled with an aching sadness, as well as a shock that this really did happen. There have been nights when I lie awake in bed and relive the days of May 4th and 5th with absolute vividness, like it's happening again, and this I dread for its pain and also savor for the sweet memory of Troy and me and Matthew together.

Sometimes I want to say that the past two months have been hard, but this is not true. They have been sad. They have also been filled with new love and appreciation for my family. They have taught me humility and asked me to be honest with myself in new ways. They have given me the gift of seeing where my faith truly lies. They have given me gratitude for the loving people that fill up our lives. Thank you, my many friends who listen, even repeatedly, to the things I need to say. Thank you, my friends who have sent your love in so many ways.

Troy and I still are working on ways to remember Matthew, which is a comfort. We can give a little to him each day that way. It is a comfort also to cry, because we do not want to stop feeling sad, to stop feeling. I think Troy especially feels even gladness when he sheds tears because he can still mourn for Matthew. Sometimes I want to shout out to everyone that Matthew happened, that he came and went and we are aching. And sometimes I keep my secret pocket in my heart all to myself, protecting its holiness.

The truth is that we know that Matthew is well and fine. We selfishly wish him to be here with us, but trust that he doesn't need to be here. I adore my beautiful children and beautiful husband. I feel deeply content and cheerful, even joyful. I look forward to meeting Matthew. We are grateful for him because even his loss has brought us blessings; sweetness to our lives.

Thank you for reading. I just couldn't let this day go by without saying the truth about what it means to us.




Paintings by Brian Kershisnik, who has captured many things in his work. My dear friend Haley gave me a book of his paintings, dedicating one to me called "A Holy Woman." Thank you, friend. Check out his website, especially the painting "Nativity" under his "Current Work" section.

Happy Fourth of July!

It was a happy one. Mostly. It didn't start out great due to a (hopefully) minor back injury for Troy. Certainly not as serious as the injury suffered by our other Troy in Seattle, but I did wake up to a crooked husband. He got up early to do some digging in the basement and as he was working, heard a crunch and felt a pop and that was it for today. Troy hasn't had problems with his back for a long time and I hope this injury heals quickly and doesn't lead to a string of problems like he's had in the past. Whenever he does this to his back he is literally crooked until the inflammation subsides. So I put him to bed and spent a lazy morning with the kids playing around the house, running to the grocery store and cooking.

We were invited to The Becky's house for afternoon swimming, dinner and early fireworks. I'm so grateful for a good friend like The Becky, and that our kids play so happily together. Here is her daughter Rachel showing off her patriotism, not to mention her extreme excitement and impatience for her father to begin lighting the fireworks. Two of my favorite events of the evening were:




1) RAP and Becky's youngest boy James repeatedly climbing up the porch stairs, throwing little golf balls down the stairs to watch them bounce, laughing delightedly, going down the stairs to retrieve them, and beginning all over again.







2) Jake, Becky's middle child, taking off his shirt to hold over the air conditioner vent to catch the air like a balloon. CTP decided he wanted to be part of the fun and so ripped off the first item of clothing he could think of. His swim trunks. We quickly (of course, not before snapping a photo) convinced him to put them back on and use his shirt instead.





I think we timed the day perfectly. A lovely afternoon at Becky's, with Troy joining us for the early fireworks show. Then we came home at nine, just at dusk, when our fabulous neighbors the McGreggors always do their own fireworks out on the street. This has actually become a nice tradition for us - almost every year we seem to return from some event just as they are starting their own fireworks. I'm starting to feel like we should pitch in next year. CTP adores them and their nine-year-old son, and happily sat with them for the show. RAP and I joined them after she had a quick bath. Then just as the McGreggors finished up, the big fireworks up at the UofU stadium began. I took RAP out in the backyard to watch, while Troy took CTP up to our in-progress attic to watch out the window. Three fireworks displays in one night - it couldn't have been better. RAP's reception to the fireworks warmed gradually with each performance. At Becky's it was a lot of "scary!" while for the McGreggors it turned more to "sparkly!" and "loud!" until finally as I held her in my arms in the cool back yard, with the fireworks blooming overhead she kept up a steady stream of commentary: "Beautiful Fireworks! That one boom! More fireworks!" I don't think either child will be ready for a Liberty Park attendance on the 24th, but maybe next year. Of course, then we'd miss Becky's and the McGreggors, which might not be worth it. Happy 4th, everyone.

Wish I Had a Picture....

Tonight I had one of those evenings that was just sweet and made me fall in love with my kids all over again. We had a long lovely summer day, amazingly spent mostly at home. Amazing because we stayed busy and happy without a major outing involved. Of course, RAP did poop in the swimming pool, but that's another story. Anyway, Troy was totally wiped out and fell asleep early. I took the kids out in the front yard to play while I worked on the weed patch that is our lawn. I felt so invigorated to be gardening while the kids played pretend in the driveway next to me. The air was warm but not hot, the weeds were coming up easily, I wasn't chasing anyone down the street...heaven, right? After their bath and getting in jammies we played for a bit, then we all went to CTP's room to read stories. RAP crawled up in my lap and actually held still to listen (a miracle), while CTP nestled in beside me and rested his little head on my side. I read a few stories, including the classic "Where the Wild Things Are," which I love reading out loud. It's just poetry, don't you think? Usually I leave CTP at this point to put RAP down, but she was holding so still that I just let CTP all asleep next to me while I sang some lullabies. Then RAP dozed off while I sang, and I wished I had a camera to capture the three of us snuggled up, my two soft babies sleeping around me. I'm so blessed to have them.

A Weekend in Washington

D.C, that is. I promise my next trip will be to the west coast Washington. This time around (my first trip in about 3 years!) I went to D.C. with my good friend Marjorie to visit an equally dear friend, Amie. It was a weekend of "so"s:

"That was so delicious!"
"I'm so happy to be with my friends!"
"This is so beautiful!"
"This is so fun!"

It was all true.

Marjorie and I left Thursday afternoon, and with a minor delay in Cincinnati (the flight crew disappeared for a short while...hopefully not to the bar) we made it to D.C. around 11:30. Amie took us for a drive through the city. I have to say that D.C. is a magical place. As soon as I get there and see the monuments, so beautifully lit, I start to hear in my head the roll of snare drums (the most patriotic of all the drums, wouldn't you say?) and then the muted trumpeting of horns...you know, some type of seriously patriotic music accompanying me around town.

Marjorie is moving to D.C. in the fall and so Friday morning she spent with a real estate agent looking for places to live while Amie stopped in to work. Amie lives in Arlington, VA not far from the Marine Corps War Memorial and Arlington National Cemetery. I went for a long walk around the monument and then on into the cemetery. I kept thinking that I should turn around and head back, but then I'd see another interesting sight ahead and I just couldn't turn back. Alone time can be so wonderful. I didn't even have music with me to walk to, just my own thoughts and a feeling of awe.

After Amie and Marjorie returned we ate some lunch (Amie had shopped at Trader Joe's, a grocery store sorely needed in SLC, for yummy things like good cheese, fruit and bread) and then headed out into the city. We started out at the National Gallery of Art. I'm so glad we made it there. As we had been planning the trip, both Marj and I decided that we didn't care if we saw a single D.C. sight - we just wanted time with Amie. Once we were there, however, we had a ball packing it all in. The art museum was a dream come true for me - Amie dropped us off to find parking and I dragged poor Marjorie from one gallery to the next finding all the art I wanted to see. I finally got to see a real Vermeer. (Joy!) I also enjoyed Mary Cassatt, Van Gogh and of course Monet, Raphael, Renoir, ....I was in heaven. Something about seeing all the art fills me with this deep ache in my chest - a fierce longing and excitement, quiet reverence, intense desire...I don't know. The girls probably thought I was nuts. And they were right.

Next were the botanical gardens (I'm so glad we made it there - it was a magical kingdom!) and then shopping in the nearby town of Alexandria. They have a riverside shopping district similar in some ways to Park City. Lots of unique shops. However, it wasn't long before hunger prevailed and we had to find a good eatery. We couldn't decide where to go until we saw a group of cops hanging out on the bustling corner - who better to ask? They pointed us to a pub with great burgers and sirloin sandwiches - may I say it again? So good. At the end of the evening, exhaustion radiated throughout the car, but I asked if they could please drop me off at the WWII memorial - I hadn't seen it before and didn't know when I could see it again, so I spent a nice few minutes walking through the crowded monument. There were some beautiful quotes. Of course, I had told Marjorie I'd call her cell when I was ready for them to pick me up, only to discover that I didn't have her correct cell number. I was afraid I was stranded. Luckily the girls spotted me on a drive-by so I wasn't stuck there all night. And then of course we didn't go to sleep forever due to much chatting, chocolate eating and the neighbors partying outside.

Saturday morning: our first stop of the day was at the local farmers' market where we enjoyed local arts (I got talked into dangly earrings and a beautiful periwinkle wrap that I will try my best to wear without feeling self-conscious) and home grown food. We found great peaches and raspberries to make into cobbler. We decided to spend the rest of the day in Annapolis, Maryland. Wow. I would have thought the whole town a fabrication because it was so darling. Really picturesque, and also authentic, which made it all the more charming. And I can now say that I've had the best crab cake sandwich on the planet. After Annapolis we raced into the city to the Museum of Natural History so I could pick up a gift for Chase. Someday I hope I can take him there. Then we stopped in at Trader Joe's and then to the mall to look for shoes for Marj. I think we were officially exhausted. So Marj and I read more while Amie worked away on her paper, and then we ate a late-night cobbler dessert. Man. Good.

We spent Sunday morning walking through Arlington Cemetery, where we saw the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier during the changing of the guard. We also saw the Kennedy graves, which were so beautiful, surrounded by granite walls inscribed with the powerful and poignant words of the Kennedy brothers. I was especially touched that Jackie was buried next to two babies she lost. One was a son, who lived only two days and died only two months before her husband. The other, a daughter, was a stillborn baby. Her grave was marked only, "Daughter." I couldn't help but wonder if she ever got a name, even if it was only her mother who knew it. I had taken pictures of Jackie and John's graves, and even their son. I was almost going to walk away, but I couldn't go without a photo of little "Daughter" as well.

I really enjoyed attending Amie's church - the Arlington ward meets in a really lovely and serene building. I hope Marj is able to find a home in the area. The neighborhood was so delightful. After church was a delicious Amie-dinner, and then we rushed to the airport where we, after quite the comedy of errors in which I played the fool (thank you for the three separate stops, airport security!) very nearly did not make the plane. The trials of making the flight are enough for a blog entry all their own but I shall spare you the details, seeing as how it's unlikely anyone has made it to the end of this marathon entry as it is.

Thank you, dear friends, for the getaway weekend. Thank you, dear Troy for your support in going and for your great daddy-ing. The kids hardly knew I was gone. I must mention that we missed several people over the weekend - Carrie, TL, Emily, Eliza....you shoulda been there. And now I'm set for the next four years, right?