This is going to be a hard post to write. There has been a big event in our lives that I haven't really talked about, and it happened to our dear dear tree hunting family. So I can't possibly chit chat lightly about our trip to Bear Lake without mentioning that our friend Steve, father and x-husband to this family, passed away very suddenly in November. It's really hard to write about because there is a long and painful and complicated history here, and it began with Troy and me being in the same student ward with Steve and becoming friends all those years ago. Then about 17 years ago or so Troy and Steve started to work together and Troy absolutely loved those years. He absolutely considered Steve to be one of his very best friends, and it was then that the tree-hunting trips began. The tree trips continued, even after Steve and Mary separated and divorced, and Steve took on a different lifestyle than he had before. It was painful, in so many ways. We became closer with Mary than we had been with Steve, and we count her and her children as some of our life-long friends. And we love Steve too.
Last August when Romney moved in with friends, she held an open house which was really fun to attend. It just so happened that Romney's new house was around the corner from where Steve was living, and Troy felt strongly that he should pop by and say hello. I'm so glad he did. I'm so glad he listened to the feeling and went and had a nice conversation with his friend. I think they saw each other one more time a week or so later, when Steve came over to get some help on a project he was working on. I'm very grateful that their friendship ended on a positive note. It was just two months later that Mary called us early one morning to tell us that Steve was found in his apartment and he was gone. We spent a couple of hours on the phone with her that morning and did our best to offer all the love and support we could to her shocked children, one of whom is still serving as a missionary in Mongolia. What a heartache, what hurt. We love this family.
Our annual trip to Bear Lake took place just a week or so after Steve's funeral. The children are good buddies with our kids, but I would not describe them as emotionally expressive, nor have I ever seen them really engage in deep conversation with our kids. It was tricky to know how to interact, how to acknowledge what they were going through without dwelling on it or forcing conversations that they might not want to have. I hope I approached things in a helpful way when, the first time we were sitting still together, I just said that I wanted them to know that I was thinking of them, trying to imagine how they might be feeling, and would love to talk about anything they wanted, but that I didn't want to make them have conversations they didn't want to. I said I loved them and cared so much. Then again on our final day, during our now-traditional mini-church service before departing the cabin, I repeated the sentiment, along with my conviction that they are known and loved by a very real Father in Heaven.
Despite the tender and emotional circumstances, our Bear Lake weekend felt much the same as it always does. Except for one little detail - after spending a couple of hours trying to get the little carriage house cabin to be up and running, and totally failing, we jumped ship and took advantage of the offer from a friend of Mary's to stay in a working, on-the-grid cabin.
I'm definitely always the biggest wimp when it comes to the carriage house. It's so cute and charming and I really do love it. I don't love not having power, hot water, or the ability to shower for the weekend. And then on top of that, the heat wasn't working so we were in the freezing dark. Ok, we had power for an hour or two, but as soon as we turned on the fan for the fireplace to try to warm up the room, we lost power. And it was only Friday evening. I was not the only one to beg to surrender and move cabins.
What luxury! We got to stay in a really spacious cabin which looked out over the lake and had heat AND light AND power. It was so cozy.
Poor Troy was the only one who really suffered - on the way up the stairs with a basket of our stuff, he fell victim to the uneven stairs and lost his footing, scraping his shin on the stairs and banging up his foot. He still has a long and winding mark running up his shin where he scraped it. Poor guy! Luckily his foot wasn't as injured as he was worried it had been.
The tree-hunt was a little rough. I don't know if it was because of a dry summer or because so many people now go look for trees where we do, but it was really hard to find a good tree. I think we ended up doing ok - our tree is quite a bit more narrow than trees of the past, and maybe a little skimpier. It's ok - she is still a gorgeous tree. But it was a long hunt to find her.
Other than the trek up the canyon to find trees, we did all of our favorite things. We watched Elf, first and foremost. We ate pizza at Gladdy's. We snuggled up on couches under delicious blankets. The kids played games while I worked on the knitted ornaments. We chatted and cooked. There definitely is less wrestling without Molly there, but still plenty of laughing. Fires in the stove, cocoa in the cups, and always a diet coke nearby for me. And of course a quiet and private church service with singing, the sacrament, and sharing a few words of faith. It was not a snowy year, but the flakes started fluttering down just as we were packing to leave.
The perfect start to a beautiful Christmas season. Love this family with all our hearts.
Photos:
On our way to the cabin, we girls were still in need of some post-turkey napping:
Here we are at the carriage house cabin, our normal spot. Trying to get warm:
Here we are the in the new cabin, enjoying a Romney-made fire:
Tree-Hunting Shenanigans:
And of course, the final group photo session:
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