About 12 years ago, a very nice family moved into our neighborhood. Leslie and Miguel were the parents of three kids, two boys and a girl, with another boy on the way, due the around the same time as Emma. This family became good friends and Leslie quickly connected with the other moms I was close to. We spent quite a bit of time together, enjoying play groups and barbecues. It was right around that time that my dear friend TerriLyn was diagnosed with the return of breast cancer, and we grew closer as we tried to support her and eventually grieve her passing. Then about 7 years ago, they bought a home in Centerville and moved away, but this circle of friends was bonded forever and have stayed close, even when other people moved to Farmington, Provo and even out of state. We get together from time to time and always pick right up where we left off.
It was with horror that we got the news that Miguel had been diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer about 5 years ago. His battle was intense but brief. I was so sad for Leslie and her family. She sure demonstrated the qualities of a strong and faithful wife, mother and woman. She's been a real example to me. As we got together for lunch over the past year or so she had started talking about wanting to date again, and we got to hear a couple of stories of dates that hadn't gone well or someone she had met that she was excited about. But in May of this year she was really happy and excited and was telling us all about a man she had met and started dating. She met him through a widower and widow support group. We were all so tickled for her. And then just as we were all about to head out, Emily asked her if she had a picture of him. Leslie did have a photo, and it happened to be one of him with his family before his own wife had passed away.
When I saw the photo I think I might have let out a little scream. I know for sure that I immediately started crying. This Mike whom she had started dating was the husband of a darling friend I had had in high school named Candy. (Well, she went by Candace as an adult, but I knew her as Candy.) She was the sweetest and cutest girl around. We didn't really stay in touch except through facebook. I did see her when I went with my neighbor Troy as his +1 to his 20 year high school reunion, since she was a year behind me in school as he was. She had been through breast cancer already at that point, and I was so glad to see her. I was shocked a few years later when I found out that not only had her cancer returned but that she had passed away. I felt so much regret and grief that I hadn't been a better friend to her after all the joy and light she had shared with me. And here she was, in the photo, and her husband and my friend Leslie had found each other.
Leslie told me later that my reaction told her a great deal about what kind of person Mike was and that it meant a lot to her that I knew them and their story and loved them so much. It was only a couple of months later that Leslie let me know that she and Mike were going to be married.
In the middle of August, Leslie called me and made the request to hire me to be her wedding coordinator and caterer. At least, I think that's what she asked. Maybe I assumed the food part because food is kind of my thing. I had just found out that the job I thought I might be starting was not going to happen after all. It seemed pretty serendipitous and I agreed. I felt really good about it. Until I hung up the phone and realized that I had just swan-dived into the biggest project I had ever done and was totally stressed out.
Over the next few weeks I experienced a very steep learning curve as I tried to put together a wedding. I don't really ever want to do it again, but if I need to, I will have a better idea about a lot of things. Such as reserving a delivery date from the rental spot long in advance. And maybe not taking on the decorations AND the food for a party. But thanks to many many to-do lists on very intricate spreadsheets that I remade about about 3 days to keep my brain organized, as well as the helping hands of many many dear friends, I think we put together a lovely day for Leslie and Mike.
I don't have too many photos - I was too busy running around like the proverbial decapitated chicken. But I was really pleased, and also felt intensely in debt to all the people I begged to come help me.
The wedding was in Leslie's yard, and we were somehow able to have rows of white chairs and a lovely black velvet walkway with rose petals leading to the front for the ceremony, and then afterwards during photos in the front yard, a crew of folks moved the chairs aside, set up banquet tables, added linens and decorations and replaced the chairs in time for us to serve a lunch of grilled pork loin, green salad and rice pilaf. It was a miracle. I was proud of the food and adequately satisfied with the decorations. Decorations are not my forte. But it worked! Leslie wanted black, red and white. I borrowed many black lanterns (and bought a few of my own), filled glass jars with puffs of solid red carnations and roses - thank heavens that it turns out I know the owner of a wholesale flower shop. We had candles and lanterns and flowers everywhere. I thought it was quite lovely, and I was so happy for the bride and groom.
A few weeks later Leslie contacted me and all the other helpers. She insisted on taking us all out to lunch at Gardner Village. We had a great time - it was a busy day there, right before Halloween, and the place was teeming with people dressed as witches. It was kind of funny. We had a delicious lunch and then everyone who was able to linger took a stroll around all the shops and let ourselves get tempted by all the cute knick-knacks for sale.
I'm so grateful for dear friends who have been in my life for such a long time, through really happy times and really sad times too. I'm so grateful for people who are willing to help each other. and I still feel like I owe all the helpers. I'm so grateful that the wedding came together despite my lack of skill and experience. I'm so grateful I didn't have to make the wedding cake. I'm so grateful for joy being possible even after great sadness and wish this lovely bride and groom all the happiness in the world.
