End of a Musical Era

The 2nd half of May brought on a lot of goodbyes. (Like me saying goodbye to my 40s). They were all pretty bitter-sweet, but one was especially hard to face.

When Romney was in 2nd grade, she started taking cello lessons from my sister, Margaret. Margaret moved to Boulder when Romney was in 6th grade, and so we tried to do facetime lessons with my brother Peter. That was tough for her. She decided to stop taking lessons for a while. And then a few years later she realized how much she was missing the cello, and we decided to connect with the woman who took over Margaret's studio when Margaret moved. 

How could we possibly have known what a great blessing Ariel was going to be in our lives? Romney started up again as an 8th grader, and though it took a while to break through Romney's stiffness and also to get used to Ariel's style, we soon realized that despite anything that was frustrating or not moving forward from week to week, Romney always came away from her lessons feeling positive and supported. 

As Romney approached her high school graduation, we had to face the truth that soon her season of taking cello lessons was coming to an end! In some ways, this was a relief. She had been so very very busy that cello was definitely not her main focus and often fell to the back burner. But still, no matter what, her time in her lessons made her feel positive about playing and like she was ok the way she was. Romney was clearly never going to go on to major in cello performance or become a cello teacher (well, probably not anyway), and Ariel saw that. She just helped Romney develop a love of music. It couldn't have been better. I'm sure there are many other teachers who would have had more committed kids take her place. But Ariel gifted us with a chance to have music in our lives. 

I also just loved every minute with Ariel - she feels like very much of a kindred spirit to me, and I often imagined that she was close to my age when in fact I'm about 20 years her senior. (The worst was the day that I asked her if she was 40 yet and she told me she wasn't yet 30!) Our age difference sure didn't stop her from playing the role of musical guru for us. I respect her, admire her, want to be more like her. The goodbye was very teary. And it wasn't even a real goodbye! We are planning on continuing lessons with her in an a-la-carte kind of way, just scheduling one every few months or something. But it won't be the same. We are so grateful.

A huge shout-out needs to be sent to my cellist-siblings as well. They both gave us so much as well. Music is an incredible part of this life and I consider us to be extremely lucky to have been surrounded by generous musicians.

Matthew Turns 16

There are a couple of things about our celebration of Matthew that really stood out this year. 

First of all, we didn't have Chase with us. It was both sad and sweet that he wasn't there - sad to be missing both of our boys, sad to not have our Chase with us on our own special Preslar Holiday that he loves celebrating with us. But so sweet because he's out doing this incredibly hard and wonderful thing that is forcing him to grow and stretch and serve and study and learn, and I know he feels so strongly that his little brother is by his side, though unseen.

Secondly, as Troy and the girls and I lingered around the fire, we wrote our notes as usual and tossed them into the flames, and then we ended up having a long and very poignant conversation about our beliefs and our faith. There was a very special feeling there as we cried and shared thoughts and emotions, and I feel like we drew even closer as a family. 

We actually have one single photo of our Matthew, which we have never shared with anyone. The kids have never wanted to see it before but this year they felt like they were ready. I went to get our special box where we keep the photo along with a couple of mementos from the hospital and all of the sweet cards and notes we received from family and friends. It's not an easy photo to look at, but it was special to share it and talk with the girls about what the experience of his birth was like.

Those are such special nights, sitting out in the cool spring air, a different feeling surrounding us than our usual busy evenings. Reflecting on memories, expressing hope and belief, feeling like Matthew is near. I never would wish this experience on anyone, and can't really say that I'm glad that it happened, but there sure have been blessings in the wake of losing Matthew. I'm grateful for those blessings and the bond our family shares because of him.

Gatherings of Spring

So many wonderful gatherings happened this spring. Here are a few:

Taking dear Natalie to the temple: 

My friend Natalie had never been through the temple before and she thought for years about if she wanted to go. This year she decided it was time. She now lives in California, but since her dearest friends and most of her family are all here in Salt Lake, she decided to come here. It was so glorious to gather together as a circle of friends and sisters and join her, support her, celebrate with her. It was just wonderful.

An Evening at Red Butte Garden:

Despite being one of the most planniest planners who ever planned a plan, there are times when a spontaneous invite comes our way and we suddenly find ourselves in the company of friends, surrounded by nature, eating delicious dinner. The Bucherts and Behunins called one evening and next thing we knew, we were eating a picnic dinner at Red Butte Gardens, followed by a good hour and a half of walking around the trails as the light was fading. It was pretty much Heaven.

Saying Goodbye to a Friend:

My mother's cousin, and mother of a family of kids that my whole family was quite close to at times in our lives, let her friends and family know that she was dying of cancer. She and her kids decided to hold a celebration together before she passed away so that her many loved ones could come greet her and wish her well and share their love. Troy and I went, and I seemed to take a trip back in time as I entered the church building that I attended from age 14 - 24. I saw so many beloved people. Sadly, there were so many people there that I didn't actually get to greet Suzan. But I did connect with her daughters and tried to share my love the best way I could. I only got a photo with one person - my friend Jackie, the sweetest lady ever, and mother to my good friend Dave. 

Troy and I weren't able to stay at Suzan's celebration for very long since we had another treat that night - a wedding reception for the daughter of one of Troy's best friends growing up, Craig. We carpooled with the Mayfields, eating up every second we got with them, visiting the great Aspen Grove Camp where we saw one of Chase's good friends. What a lovely evening of joys and sorrows.

Our First Lacrosse Game:

Our niece Lucy plays lacrosse and we have always wanted to see her play. Most of her games are on weeknights in far away places like Draper, Herriman and Riverton. (We are such wimps!) Kathleen called us shortly after my Disney trip to let us know that Lucy would be playing at Highland High - we were so happy we were able to come see her play! It's a really fun game to watch, and we loved supporting Lucy. I was also happy to get a chance to connect with Kathleen's mom, whom we have been worried for as Stan was still in the ICU. She is such a dear lady and has been so kind to Troy and me every time we see her. 

Surprise! (Or....I am Way Too Old for This)

Oh Sheri and Kathleen, you sneaky sneaky gals!

Here's what happened. This year is the year that I turn 50 years old. Sheri said something a time or two about us needing to celebrate. I figured we would do something, but I didn't really have any great ideas or exciting things I wanted to do. And she didn't really mention it again - which I actually was a little surprised about.

What did get mentioned was a trip to Las Vegas, by my other-side-of-the-family sister-in-law, Kathleen. She works for Jet Blue and had suggested before that at some point we should go on a trip. Sometime during the winter Kathleen told me she and her sister were going to visit her other sister in Las Vegas and that I should come. Maybe I should have suspected something but I really didn't. I thought that going to Vegas sounded fun. I love Kathleen and felt tickled to be invited to be a part of sisters trip. The trip was going to happen at the end of April, and it was something on the calendar that was exciting to anticipate. A little plane ride, sitting by the pool, eating at fun restaurants - it was going to be a wonderful getaway!

A little while before the trip, Kathleen's dad became ill. He had been diagnosed with cancer some time ago, and it's been quietly progressing. But he had a fall and a bad illness and it led to dear Stan being admitted in the ICU. It was sad and really tough on Kathleen and her family. As the time drew nearer for the Vegas trip, I just figured we would have to postpone - her dad was just getting worse.

We were supposed to leave on a Sunday afternoon. The day before, Saturday, Peter and Sheri and the kids were in town for a gymnastics meet for Iva. They were spending Saturday with us, and I was telling Sheri how sad I was that Stan was so sick and we were all worried for him, and that the Vegas trip was certainly being delayed if not just cancelled. Just then, there was a knock on the door. It was Kathleen!

I actually wasn't that surprised - her dad was in the Huntsman Cancer Institute's ICU, just up the hill from us. I thought she was dropping by to get a break from the hospital, give us an update, and also break the news that the trip was off. She walked in, and I jumped up to give her a big hug and cry with her for a minute. Then she came into the kitchen to sit down and chat with Sheri and me. That's when they told me - there wasn't going to be a Vegas trip. In fact, there never had been a Vegas trip. It was a big fat trick! The two of them had been planning to take me to Disneyland together - planning since last September!

Well - I just about died. First of all, I was so shocked that they had been planning this. (In fact, later, Sheri let me read the text thread between the two of them that had been going on for months and it was so sweet.) I was absolutely surprised and I believe I couldn't close my mouth or wipe the shock off of my face for quite some time. Also...Kathleen wasn't going to join us after all because of her dad. So there was this incredibly emotional conversation where I was crying with love and happiness because these two dear sisters love me and wanted to make a big deal out of my birthday and treat me and spend time with me. Also Disneyland. And also, heartbreak and guilt and sadness that Kathleen wouldn't be joining us. I felt so bad, and she did too, but she insisted that we go anyway, and that she would be miserable leaving her dad at that time, and wouldn't have a good time.

You know who else was surprised? My husband. Yeah, the girls didn't tell Troy. I know he would have kept the secret - not sure why they didn't tell him! But he was planning on me going to Vegas, and I guess me gone in Nevada and me gone in California is still just me gone, so they didn't tell him. I felt a little bad - I always need major verbal affirmation to not feel bad about going away. But Troy was happy and supportive and sweet. 

The original plan had been for Kathleen and me to leave on our trip on Sunday, me still thinking we were going to Vegas, but I would be told that we had to have a layover in LA. Kathleen was going to tell me that we had enough time to go get some good food or something. (Apparently I can always be convinced by food.) We would leave the airport, call an Uber, and the plan was that Sheri would pull up and that's how they were going to surprise me. Can you imagine? I would have died. DIED. It was a great idea and I'm very sorry that it wasn't able to happen. Those cute sisters of mine - they worked so hard to put this together and it was really so sad that things had to be rearranged. Not just because of the trip, obviously, but because of Kathleen's dad. 

So...change of plans. Instead of flying to LA, the new arrangement was for me to drive back that night to St. George with Peter and family, and Sheri and I would drive to California together on Sunday. I will spare the details of getting to CA - it was kind of long, due to a late-night end to Iva's gymnastics meet. It was a little rough. But the drive on Sunday was delightful - we enjoyed chatting and singing and just being together the whole way. 

We spent the afternoon visiting her grandpa in Long Beach, who is a delightful man. I especially enjoyed getting to know him better while we went out to dinner and I got to ask him all sorts of questions. What a sweet and interesting man. Then it was a walk on the beach.

Then it was off to the hotel - a pretty nice spot about a one-mile walk from Disneyland Park, with a very nice, big, clean convenience store just along the way. Perfect for stocking up on monster drinks, Pringles, and other necessities. 

And here's where I just load you with photos - I mean, who wants to hear the play-by-play of two days at Disney? No one. But it was so fun. I think Sheri has wanted to get me alone at Disney for about 15 years now. And we did it! We walked like 20 miles a day. We did all the things. Rode the rides. Ate the treats. I just followed Sheri around wherever she said to go. So here are one million photos. I'm not even dividing them up into the separate days. And also, there are so many more photos than these. You're welcome for not putting them ALL in here.

Ok I'll mention a couple of specifics. 

This year at Disneyland, all of the employees wore name tags with their favorite character listed on them. It was so fun to interact with cast members (the correct name for Disney employees) and find out who their favorite is and chat a little. That was fun. We also talked much about which character we ourselves would pick. I finally pared my list down to Merryweather or Lady Cluck. Probably Lady Cluck. The best was meeting a cast member named Chase with the favorite character Kronk. Hello! That is my boy!!!

Another delightful moment was taking a break to eat dinner over at California Adventure. Sheri and I were calmly eating our salads and pasta, and at the table next to us, absolute mayhem was unfolding. There was a family there - the dad was juggling baby and a few kids and getting dinner on the table and was either ignoring or unaware of the fact that his son was steadily opening packets of sugar and pouring them into his mouth, one after another after another. Once the kid got pizza, he even put sugar on his pizza. The mom returned with a sullen and red-eyed pre-teenager, and also ignored her son's intake of about a cup of sugar. Sheri and I were laughing so hard. 

Another delightful dinner memory was making an actual reservation at an actual restaurant - the one overlooking the lake at Disneyland. We got Monte Cristo sandwiches and creme brulee and it was just heavenly. 

One of the best moments on the trip was trying to leave Disneyland in the evening to spend the nighttime hours at California Adventure. Somehow we timed our exit at the exact right moment and landed on the sidelines of the most delightful parade I have ever seen. (I'm shocked I just typed that. Parades are in general miserable experiences. But not at Disneyland.) There were all of these floats with classic characters on them, and Sheri and I found ourselves cheering for them - Sleeping Beauty and the three fairies, Merlin and The Wart, Anna and Elsa, Moana and Maui, and the best was Peter Pan and Wendy. Tinkerbelle was walking around, and right in front of us was a tiny kid dressed as Peter Pan. Tinkerbelle came up to him and had the cutest little interaction with him and basically Sheri and I both broke down weeping. We are so silly.

Sheri did go full-boar for two solid days. Check out the blister on my foot. I feel like I almost died from it. I felt so old! My poor sister was trying to drag this old lady around at top speed. It was all I could do to not slow her down too much. 

It really was a great trip, and I was so grateful to be showered with love. I'm so sad Kathleen couldn't be there too - although in all honesty, I'm not sure that Sheri-style and Kathleen-style would have meshed super well. Maybe it would have been great, I don't know. But I do hope that Kathleen and I get a chance to go another time. 

Thank you, sisters, for celebrating my 50th in such style. Love you both so much. 

Our Lady of the Super Sweaters

I have now made three sweaters. (For myself, all for myself, bwaa ha ha ha!!) I actually don't think anyone else in the family especially wants a sweater from me. Well, the girls just wear them so whatever I make for me I make for all three of us. And also...I keep making sweaters that end up larger than I expect them to be. So the boys could easily wear them as well.

I LOVE making sweaters. And each time I make one, I feel like I have learned so much and maybe THIS time I'll get it just right. I mean, I check the gauge the whole way through. I measure so carefully. And I swear, I keep making these absolutely massive sweaters. The arms are too long, they drown me. I still really love each of them. I have been given the advice to rip them out and start over but I can't bring myself to do it! They each take so long and can be so very tedious at times, and so I don't. I have also been given the advice to get them just ever so slightly damp, wrap them up in a pillow case and pop them into the dryer to just tighten up the stitches. This is also something I can not bring myself to attempt. 

So the only option left is just to become known as the lady who always wears the supersize sweaters. 

(Maybe the 4th try will be the charm?)

Emma Gets a Glow-Up

 

It turns out that I didn't really pay close attention to how my younger daughter was growing up by leaps and bounds over the past two years. I mean, I knew she was growing taller and starting to wear makeup and pick out outfits with more care, but I didn't really see just how much she had changed until she got her braces off and I went back to find the photos of the day she got them on. Um HELLO that is a little baby in those photos. And now look. She dun grown up!!

Emma was a great orthodontic patient. I'm going to go ahead and brag about that. Okay okay I'm sure she wasn't the best flosser the world has ever seen. But here's where she excelled. She was patient. Her awesome doctor started talking in the fall about her braces coming off - perhaps even by Christmas. And then every appointment, he'd want to go one more appointment out before deciding. Believe me, I have no hard feelings. He is a really great orthodontist and he wanted her teeth to be as perfect as he could possibly make them. I totally trusted him. But it did take some patience from Emma. She had one point where she had to wear a configuration of seven rubber bands, crisscrossing around so she couldn't even open her mouth. And she totally did it. 

Ever since her braces disappeared she has gotten so many comments about how grown up she is. It's true - when you compare her current photos to the day she got her braces on - can you even believe how different?