Our Matthew celebration was so special this year. We missed having Chase with us the past two years and relished being all together again. This year would have been Matthew's 18th birthday - hard to believe that this little baby boy would have been entering adulthood.
The evening was quite chilly, and we weren't in the mood for leaving the house or even being on the porch. Instead, we ordered what we were just certain would have been Matthew's favorite food - Mumbai House, right? I mean, is there even a question? Considering that everyone in the family, from Emma to Chase, our two extremes in the food-variety department, absolutely loves Indian food, we're pretty sure Matthew would have too. And just in case we were wrong about that, we also got a few pastries from Gourmandise because who wouldn't love that.
We built a fire and enjoyed eating together in the cozy living room. Of course we wrote our notes and sent them to heaven by tossing them into the stove. It's always such a reverent activity. And then we did something we have never done before - everyone sat together and listened while I re-read every entry about Matthew I have posted on this blog. Chase remembers just a little from the time of Matthew's passing, and Romney was only 20 months old and doesn't remember anything. Of course, Emma wasn't even born. There was a lot they didn't know. And truly, we all just wept. Believe it or not, that felt amazing. It was so cathartic to cry together, to re-read poems and remember other years. So sweet to remember the tender things each kid thought and said over the years. I don't know that we will do that every year, but I'm sure we will from time to time. It really brought Matthew so close.
I'm so so very grateful for my family. I'm grateful that Matthew has drawn us closer to each other.
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