The Slippery Slope

Today is Sunday. Ah, the Sabbath. You know it's been a good church day when you leave the building both looking and smelling as if you've just walked across the Sahara. Somehow today during our sacrament meeting I was a total kid magnet. I felt like I was feeding pigeons at the park, except that these pigeons weighed around the 40 pound mark, and they weren't afraid to get on you. It wasn't such a bad day, you know, just a little on the strenuous side. Between the meeting itself and the weekly round-up of my post-church totally hyper children, let's just say that I was looking a little mussed, (aka bedraggled). My fabulous hair and makeup (that's a joke by the way) didn't quite make it back to the parking lot.

It doesn't help that I have officially entered the "waddle" stage of pregnancy. Pregnancy, as you know, is divided into three terms. Most people refer to these as the first, second and third trimesters. I prefer to call them what they truly are. The puke phase, the heartburn phase and the waddle phase. I have to tell you that I think that I have a more alarming waddle phase than most people I know. I can tell because of the looks of shock that appear on peoples' faces as I approach. The reason is because I have no waist. There is no where to go for this baby to go but out. Since I'm still at the beginning of the waddle phase it isn't too bad yet, but trust me, it gets worse. I have already been asked whether I have two or three weeks left, despite the fact that I have close to three months left. I can also tell that this phase has started because I have seen some photos of myself and am wondering who inflated my entire face and neck so bulbously. This is why I have not changed my facebook profile picture for over a year. I'd rather just look at that nice little face I used to have, not so long ago, and hold it as a beacon of future thinness to be. I hope.

Now, shut up, everyone. I know what you're going to say. No, no! You look great! Pregnant women are beautiful! I was going to blog about this fun spontaneous tea party that Bitty and I threw for each other, and I'll get to that, but when I saw the picture that Troy took of our party all I could think to myself was, "Oh dear. The downward slope has begun. I am officially getting large."


Okay, enough about me. I am not complaining, by the way. I'm happily donating any and all body parts/functions/appearances to this little fetus. I'm just saying that the donation has happened. "This Little Fetus" is kicking a lot, by the way. Bitty would like to name her Annie. Stomper would like to name her Tara. I would like to keep thinking about it.

So. The tea party. Bitty and Stomper and I actually hold regular tea parties. We have two tea sets. One is large, colorful and plastic. The other is dainty, painted with little apples, and is quite a bit more breakable. It can't be actual china or glass, but whatever it is, it breaks. This I know, as it has been greatly diminished lately. As I was sharing these details with my friend Emily we looked at each other and said, in unison, "Frances!" I don't know how many of you have read the Frances books, but if you haven't, you've got to track them down. Written by Russell Hoban, illustrated by Lilian Hoban, they are treasures. My favorite might be Bread and Jam for Frances, but I also really love A Birthday for Frances, Best Friends for Frances, and of course the tea set one, A Bargain for Frances. You can also find Bedtime for Frances and A Sister for Frances, which are fun as well. My mom found a lot of these on tape for us from the library when we were kids and we listened to them constantly (along with the record of Robin Hood, which I can still quote almost verbatim). A Bargain for Frances deals with a treacherous friend and two tea sets; one plastic and one china. I have looked for this book almost every time I went to the library, with no luck. Once Emily and I discovered our mutual affection for Frances, she searched around her bookshelves and discovered a much loved copy of A Bargain for Frances tucked in among her other books. I was so thrilled when she loaned it to me, and as soon as I started reading it to Bitty we both knew that the reading would be incomplete without also sipping a cup tea from the little china tea set.