Not Forgotten

Seeing as how every morning I feel like I wake up and instantly get dropped onto a high-speed treadmill (Ready, Set, RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!) I am not blogging very much. But I can not let any more time go by without publicly wishing baby Matthew a happy birthday. Last Wednesday was the third anniversary of our Matthew day. Thanks to the many friends who called and sent notes. It always means a lot.

Troy and I did our best to have a quiet celebration; planting some flowers, sending out balloons, writing notes. A birthday cake. But in the grand tradition of our kids, "quiet" was not really a part of the day in any way shape or form. That's okay. After working at Primary Children's Hospital I learned that sometimes kids deal with grief by going bananas. So bananas it was. No sitting still, climbing the walls all day long, lots of wrestling. Ah well. My peace came late in the evening after the kids were asleep and Troy had gone to bed. I spent some time alone with Matthew by reading all the cards that people sent, looking at his ultrasound photos, reading journal entries. It was really nice. Very sweet, really, with so little of that sad sad ache that I'm so glad we made it through.

Love you, baby M.