I think most people who read this blog already know about our story, but I thought I'd record a little of our experience over the past week. About a week ago I noticed that I could not feel our baby kicking in my belly anymore and that it had been a number of days since I had. By Thursday I really knew there was a problem, so I went into my clinic to check for heart tones. Indeed, we could not find any, so after two ultrasounds it was confirmed that our baby boy had passed away, probably about a week prior to this.
Friday morning, Troy and I checked into Salt Lake Regional Medical center, luckily just across the street from our home. Because I was 23 weeks along this was considered a stillbirth and not a miscarriage. We were admitted to labor and delivery where I was administered drugs that induced labor, and our boy, whom we named Matthew, was born at 1:30 am, Saturday morning. We were able to hold him and see his tiny body. This was a precious and indescribable experience.
Although our hearts are heavy and we are certainly grieving the loss of our son, Troy and I feel grateful for the tender things we have felt and that we have been drawn closer than ever before through this trial. We can feel, almost tangibly, the presence of peace and comfort that surrounds us. We are grateful, more than we can express, for the two beautiful and creative children that we have, and grateful also for outpouring of love and support that we have received. Most importantly, we are grateful for our faith, and that Matthew was able to come to us, even for so short a time.