Reflection of a Life

Saturday, September 10th was the 1 year anniversary of the passing of my friend TerriLyn.  I chatted a lot with her family that day and preceding week, and we all agree that some things in life are just not connected to the space-time continuum.  It's all jumbled up and simultaneously feels like it only happened moments ago and like years and years have gone by.  And yet despite that distance there are minute details, the type that on any other day you'd never remember, but that are absolutely etched in your memory even now.

It's been an interesting year.  The last year of TerriLyn's life, from the time she was diagnosed to the time she was gone, was really tough, I'm not going to deny that.  And I think it kind of took me about this entire year to get over it, to let go of the really hard ugly things about it, about cancer, about how it changes people.  And it is such a relief to just let it go and remember my real friend TL the way she was before cancer came along.  It has been quite cleansing, actually, and Saturday I was able to feel peaceful if a bit exhausted.

I met with a few friends including Adam Grundvig and his kids and we went to visit the cemetery, where TL's gravestone has recently been placed.  It's very lovely, and so sweet and sad to see her name there. We had a nice visit in the beautiful grounds then hit one of TL's favorite dining spots - Luna Berry crepes and yogurt on 4th South and 7th East.  So good.  But the best part of the day for me was that night.  I was alone for the first time that day.  I hadn't shed any tears or really mourned in my own way yet.  So I pulled out the DVD of TL's pictures that was played at her funeral and just sat and watched and finally had a good ugly cry.  It felt like just what I needed.  

Miss you, TL. As I posted on facebook, my life will carry a reflection of you until the day you come to get me.  There isn't a day that goes by that you are not thought of and missed.  Your kids are doing well and are angels at my house these days.  Your husband is sorting through things so admirably and he's dating a wonderful wonderful girl who brings light with her when she comes in a room. She is beyond devoted to your kids. You of course know these things already, but I thought I'd share them anyway, my sister-friend.