This has been a challenging week. I don't even know how to say this without possibly bursting in to tears.
I have stopped drinking Diet Coke.
Waaaahhhhh!!! I don't even WANT to stop drinking it, seeing how it's my favorite thing on the planet pretty much. It's taken me months and months since the first moment I heard a little voice in my head telling me that I drink too much to actually admit that it's true. I'm telling you, I love the stuff, and rely on it heavily as my own personal anti-depressant, energy booster, delicious guilt-free treat, tension tamer, mood lifter, ....basically, it's the precious. And I'm Gollum. And now I don't have it any more. This is how I feel about it:
It's true. I'm just that awful. Today I took my toddler to the library to attend Books and Babies, a wonderful outing during which we enjoy songs and stories told by our favorite librarian. We were sitting there happily, singing and clapping and being generally happy and calm when I saw a mom lean over and pick up a clear plastic cup with a lid and a red straw, bubbles filling the brown liquid like tiny jewels, dew beading up on the cup....I had to fight the urge to wrest it from her grasp and start sucking like a vampire. Believe me, if she's anything like me she would have fought back. We would have caused a scene.
Do I sound like I may have had a problem? No...addicted? Not me!
I have to say that I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been very strong and have even walked into both a Maverick and 7-11 this week and did not lose all control and start drinking directly from the Diet Coke spout. Funny, I don't feel any physical effects from cutting myself off - no headaches, nothing like that. I'm just sad. Diet Coke made me happy. But it was getting apparent that I had a problem seeing as how I poured myself a tall one by 10 a.m. pretty much every day and just kept it flowing until the late afternoon. That can't be good, right?
So, there you go. I have confessed. And if Frodo ever goes walking by with a big gulp in his hand he'd better look out because he's going to lose a lot more than a finger.
2 comments:
Confession time from this Romney household. I COULDN"T DO IT. AND I DRINK FAR MORE THAN YOU! I love it and I don't want to stop. Maybe when I'm up there at your house and then you come to mine and I'll have to keep it out of your sight i won't drink it. But ironically this week has been my worst bingeing week. I clearly panicked! Forgive me!
This is a such a good thing, Rachel. I'm really proud of you. Being a mom is tough enough, but to have your favorite coping mechanism taken away is pretty rough. I'm sorry it's so hard. I've been severely limiting my chocolate intake, but not by choice. It gives me headaches and my sense of taste/smell has diminished slowly over the last few years, so it just doesn't taste as good anymore. Sad. It used to be my happy food. I still have it sometimes, but I'm finding substitutes in things like fruit, homemade scones, and herb tea.
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