Topher

 This post could be titled "I am the Worst Mom on the Planet." I keep getting reassured by Emma that this is not true. But it feels true. Here's what happened. Emma got Topher the Tortoise for Christmas about 2 ½ years ago. He's been a sweet little pet but he totally hated his enclosure. HATED. He would just incessantly bonk his shell against the glass walls to try to get out - I mean for hours. Finally we would just let him out and let him wander around the house. He had a few favorite spots he'd always hide in - most notably right behind our couch by the heating vent. He loved it there. We got less and less concerned about him walking around because he was so much happier. We just made sure to keep an eye on the back door - he did get out one time and made a run for the fence - we found him in the very back recesses of our yard. 

Emma had recently started an instagram account called speedy tortoise topher and was adorable about posting photos - some of them were slightly comical, like blurry photos of him in his hideout in the dark. But she loved him so much. (Noting the past tense here?) (*sob*) We took a bunch of photos so she could have a few better ones to post:

Oh my gosh these photos are killing me.

So here's what happened. Topher was out and about. And it was laundry day. Do I even have to say anything more? Oh it was so awful. I scooped up a pile of towels and threw them in the laundry. I noticed nothing until I switched the load to the dryer and turned it on. I heard one clunk and my heart just absolutely stopped. I ripped the door open and found little Topher there. 

You guys....this was one of the worst moments of my life. Topher was still alive and clearly struggling and suffering. We couldn't tell just how injured he was. We took him right out into the sunshine and tried to warm him up and let him rest and recover. He took some gulps of air but it wasn't long before we realized that he was dying. I don't think I have ever felt so awful in my life. I mean, I subjected a gentle little creature to absolute torture, leading to his death. Topher only lasted about a half hour after we got him out of the dryer. I can't really describe just how awful this was. Emma was of course just devastated. 

We created a burial site for Topher, right next to our doggie Alex. We carefully wrapped him in a cloth and Emma placed him in the ground. The kids and I gathered around him and each said some things we loved about Topher. We all shed some tears, even the tallest person in our family. He had to turn away and not show the eye-leakage. It was just absolutely heartbreaking. 

Sheri and Peter sent us cookies. Margaret did too. Cookies are helpful.

We are all feeling better but I'm going to tell you now that we will never laugh about this. A few people thought it was kind of funny - one of those stories you'd look back on and laugh at. I mean, it is just a classic mom moment, to scoop up a pet along with the pile of laundry. I heard stories about hamsters and vacuum cleaners, goldfish and kitchen sinks - it's all awful. But we are never going to laugh at this. I think it's partly because Topher lived through the whole laundry experience and ever since then when a load of laundry is going I hear the different cycles and just imagine the suffering he went through with each one. It sounds gruesome but really, that's what I thought about, and it feels like I have caused damage to the universe by making a helpless animal suffer like that. So I'm still repenting. I don't know how to make it right! By taking better care of our other pets? Not sure, but that's how I'm starting. I miss Topher! His little treks across the living room and finding him hiding around. Definitely not safe as it turned out but I sill miss it. 

Here he is the day before he died, randomly crawling over and around Troy's shoes. It entertained him so much he took a few photos that are now treasures. 

Topher buddy, I'm so sorry. Rest in Peace and I owe you some fresh kale, your favorite, when I get to the other side.

Oh Yeah and the Other Stuff

There were many other little events that have added fun to our summer months - for starters, the day that Chase requested that I purchase a hot sauce from Amazon called "DaBomb." Eating it was basically a dare for himself and his cousin Noah. It's not the kind of hot sauce that tastes good, like, at ALL. It's just so hot that it's just a test to see what you can handle. And this was such a big deal for the boys that we got our whole families together just so we could watch them eat chicken nuggets dipped in this fire from hell. It was pretty dang funny to watch but I want no part of eating that sauce. I don't think anyone does. It's still sitting in our fridge, waiting for the next time someone dares someone else to eat it. I wonder how long I have to keep it. 

* * *

My friend Emily and I had the chance to serve for four hours at the Welfare Square Cannery. It was actually a really long day but I've never done it before so I was glad to get the chance. I spent four long hours making sure spaghetti sauce lids were getting screwed on correctly. It's really boring. But it's much less boring when the lid isn't screwed on tightly and the machine knocks the bottle over. That's much more exciting. 

* * *

We convinced our girls to bring their instruments over to Troy's parent's home to play a couple of pieces for them. I was proud of them for agreeing to play.

* * *

Father's Day was a wonderful day. And we were very lucky. We decided it would be fun to go cook breakfast together up Milcreek Canyon. We kind of thought that the canyon would really be busiest in the afternoon and evening for BBQs and that the morning would be quiet with lots of space available but we were totally wrong - it seemed like the entire population of Salt Lake City was on their way up that canyon. We could not find a spot for a picnic and even the sides of the road were all just packed with cars. We were nervous because the upper half of the canyon had not yet opened so we weren't able to look up at the higher spots. We pulled into the last open area, the Terraces, and totally lucked out by finding three little spots empty. The people right before us took one, we took the next, and the people right behind us took the third. Whew! Incidentally, the people who were right ahead of us were cute friends who lived in our neighborhood until recently and were Emma's primary teachers. Fun to see them.

The cool mountain air was just what we needed. For breakfast we enjoyed Romney's breakfast specialty - the egg sandwich. Thank you instagram or whatever video she watched that taught her how to make a sandwich - sort of like grilled cheese. You butter bread. You butter a pan. You break eggs into the buttered pan, scramble them up, then while they're cooking, put the buttered bread into the eggs, butter side up. Then flip the whole thing over, so the bread starts to fry a little. Add cheese. Flip one side onto the other and then gobble it up. We added avocado. Except Emma. Emma wouldn't eat the avocado. She also would not eat the sandwich. 

We really love our Troy and we really loved going up the canyon and eating breakfast with him to celebrate the wonderful father that he is. 

* * *

On a recent visit to some friends in Bountiful we were shown their summer bucket list. It was so cute. So many fun things like watching sunrises and going for night drives and all sorts of stuff. We especially noticed the item that mentioned becoming an ice cream truck and delivering free popsicles to kids. In Bountiful, you can do this. Drive around and just find kids out playing. Not in SLC - we have to flush the people out of their hidey-holes. But still, we thought we could maybe pull off a similar event. Emma especially was excited by this idea and really latched onto it. She made sure our family made this happen. We went and bought a cooler full of popsicles and creamies and some dry ice. We hopped into the car and started driving around, texting families we knew with kids and dropping by for a hello and some sweet cold treats. We were very careful and wore masks and Emma used tongs to hand out the treats. It was so nice to see so many neighborhood friends - and we even were able to get a few unknown passers-by to stop and choose something. Actually, I was very surprised at how uplifting this was. I mean, it was just popsicles. But we really felt energized and uplifted and connected. It was great fun and I hope to do it again before the summer ends. Good job Emma, sticking to it and not letting this fun chance pass us by.

* * *

For several months now Troy has been talking about getting a scooter - specifically for me. I felt nervous to totally agree with this because I wanted one so badly it felt kind of selfish. But Troy loves me and persisted and kept shopping around for used vespa scooters. He found several on the classified ads but they got sold so fast he couldn't even get a look at one. Finally he found this pretty black vespa being sold at a local scooter shop. It was only one year old and barely had 200 miles on it, if that. (Who would buy a scooter and not drive it?) We went and bought it early in July and Troy drove her home. Now, you have to have a motorcycle license to legally drive a scooter, and I didn't have one. So for a couple of weeks Troy was the only driver and he took me and the girls on a few rides. I was desperate to go get my learner's permit but.....covid rears its ugly head again! The DMV was basically closed. You couldn't go without an appointment and you couldn't get an appointment without filling out an online form to request a phone call to make an appointment. SERIOUSLY. It took some time but I finally got through and got to at least set an appointment. 

I spent a long road trip sitting in the back seat studying my motorcycle license manual and taking practice tests that I was passing with flying colors. However, going in to the DMV was actually terrifying. And I just barely passed my test! It was way harder than I thought it was going to be and I made at least one dumb mistake. But whatever, I got my permit and now have six months in which to take a road test on my little scooter. I'm pretty nervous for that too. But ever since I got my permit I have had a lot of joy as I have driven around town on this lovely little scoot. She of course has a name - that's what we do. We name things. It drives Chase nuts but I can't help it! I'm a namer. Her name is officially Sofie Lauren, named after the gorgeous Italian actress. But I also call her Pinkie. That has a long story behind it that isn't worth telling that makes me laugh. I also call her Scoots MaGoots. I absolutely LOVE going for scoot rides.

So there you go. Other stuff that has been going on this summer.

Post Birthday Surprise!

A few days after Emma's birthday we were able to give her one more surprise. Sheri and I had talked about finding a way to get her girls up here for a visit. We realized that Sheri's sister works in Utah Valley quite often and could drive the girls that far. I could meet her there and pick them up and drive the rest of the way. We told Emma that we had last birthday surprise for her. She was convinced that we were going to give her a snake. Um...... Suddenly I was nervous that she would be disappointed because this surprise was SO not a new pet. But have no fear, Emma was absolutely thrilled. She's very close to her cousins and we hadn't seen them since February. That was a long time for us to go without a visit! We usually see each other almost every other month but not this year! It was a great surprise. Emma has been as lonely for her friends and family as the rest of us have been.

The visit made for quite a cluttered house - all three of Peter's girls came to spend three nights with us and we just plunked them all in the living room for a three-day sleepover pile.

Hogle Zoo reopened around this time and we decided it would be a fun thing to do together - our two families have gone to the zoo together more times than I can count over the years. However...it turns out that the zoo on covid restrictions is not that fun. Masks on everyone, no play areas open, a specific path you had to walk and none of the buildings open. We did not end up staying long because it really was just not that fun. I'm sad about that - the poor zoo! But we at least tried. 

I love this picture of Emma and Cara - look at their skin colors. Gee. Which one gets out more?

One morning we filled up our time by going for a walk up City Creek Canyon. Since I'm writing this in July when the temp has been over 100 degrees I am looking at that cool, walkable, shady path and missing early June.

The weekend it worked for Peter's girls to be in SLC just happened to coincide with the weekend my sister was coming to town to help two of her three daughters celebrate their graduations from college and help them both leave town. The youngest daughter was moving to Colorado with Margaret to take the summer to study for the MCAT and the oldest daughter was packing up to finally go live in the same city as her husband in Connecticut. Margaret and her 2nd daughter have been living away from Salt Lake City for many years but the oldest and youngest daughters have been here. I love all four of those women so much and also it's been quite a special opportunity to have Kate and Mary close by, helping us and our kids and also letting me feed them from time to time. We have missed Kate's husband desperately and wish they weren't living so far away, but are so glad they are past the painful period of their lives when they have had to live apart from one another. 

Margaret hosted a graduation zoom-party for both girls, and it ended up happening in my front yard, which was kind of crazy, especially because there was a wind storm during the party. Then the next night ,which was the last night before they all left town, we headed to the avenues to say goodbye to Kate and give her hugs as she and Cameron packed up the last of their things into a moving truck. 

 

It really was so tender-sweet-sad to wish Kate and Mary the best and send them on their ways. It was a very busy and cluttered weekend but also I was so glad to have some cousin time. We haven't had nearly as much this year! Family reunions have been cancelled and other trips postponed, so it had been many months. So grateful it happened.

Construction Projects

Before our first batch of chicks got so cruelly eaten, Troy and I had plans to work on their coop. We really did. But I totally sidetracked our Saturdays with one fateful dig of a shovel. In April and May we were doing a lot of work on our yard - lots of weeding and preparing for some tomatoes and other yard care jobs. This one Saturday afternoon I was going after a huge patch of weeds - very TALL weeds - on the north side of our yard. It's a spot where we have known what we wanted to do for a long time. In that spot at the time was a dirt path leading from the gate to the lawn, and then a dirt pile totally filled with weeds. It had been a garden for a long time but we hadn't had good growth there for a while so we were just letting the dirt heal. Anyway, that Saturday I went after the weeds and got it all cleaned up. Troy and I were re-discussing our plans there - that we wanted to put in a pathway and a small retaining wall. I asked Troy what he thought about me just taking the time right then and there to start on a pathway. I mean, what would happen if I just stuck my shovel in the hard-packed dirt right there and started digging? Troy told me to go for it. So I did. I just stuck my shovel in that dirt and I was shocked that the dirt came up so easily. Within an hour I had dug up quite a lot of the dirt that needed removing. Troy then went and got the tiller and really moved some earth. By the end of the day we had a pretty good outline of where we were going to lay some pavers.

Little did I know what we were really getting into. Before I dug up that first shovel of dirt we should have watched the This Old House videos of how to properly lay a path. Turns out to do it right you need to do a lot of things. Mostly you need to buy paver base. Lots and lots of paver base. And one bag of paver base does not go very far. This is where we began to be amazed with the powers of Jarvis the minivan. I mean, without Inigo the land cruiser and the trailer, we had to load up tons and tons of material. Bags of paver base. Bags of sand. Many many paver stones. Plus I kept underestimating the amount of paver base that we needed. I mean, I tried to actually calculate the amount needed, but I did it wrong. Like three times. But eventually we got it about right and started getting the stones in place.

It was at that time that Troy came to the realization that it was really dumb for us to make the pathway and  not make the retaining wall at the same time. The retaining wall was going to border one edge of the pathway and what would we do to support the pathway until the wall was made? So we decided to start the wall and began our second round of trips to both Lowe's and Home Depot, lugging more super heavy stones and bags of paver base and gravel.  

I know that we ended up doing so much more work than we expected and it probably should have waited until the coop was done, but at the same time, I'm so not sorry. We have wanted to create a pathway in that spot and we could have put it off forever. Instead, we just went for it, dug in and made our pathway. We did a great job, too, and really feel please with the path and wall we ended up with. 

This project also helped me realize that I'm kind of addicted to spending my Saturdays working myself to  the bone, so hard that the next day I can barely move, so hard that you just have to order take out that night because you're too spent to possibly feed yourself. You look back on your day and see the work you did and just feel awesome. I love it.